Dale told me at some point in our dating, that in high school, I was in "Circle 2." Basically this meant, that I wasn't in the super popular group, ya know, the cheerleader/football, we're so amazing kind of people in high school? Yeah, I wasn't in that group, but in the group just below them. Which means (so I'm told) that we were known, and inviting to anyone, but in some ways exclusive.
When I was in high school, there were probably 12 or so of us that were really close, we'd all been friends since about 7th or 8th grade. As we got into high school, our group of friends just grew and grew as we all made friends and all hung out with everyone. It was so awesome, I loved my friends in high school, and I actually liked high school for the most part. Of course there was the drama that goes with being a teenager, but overall, it was a good experience. Yesterday one of the guys from the original 12 of us got married. It has been a while since someone from that small group of us got married. There are several of them that keep in touch on a regular basis, as most of them live close to where we grew up. I, however, am one of maybe 3 or 4 that hardly keeps up with any of them (I talk to 2 girls every month or so, and the guy that go married every couple of months). It was so interesting to go to this reception, and see the guys (only 2 are married) and their girlfriends, or see what's going on with them. Some of the girls brought their babies, or had their husbands there, or we talked about what they've been up to. When I was driving home, I had the weirdest feeling. In some ways, so many of them have such carefree lives. In this sense I mean, they can do what they want when they want to, and are so free to go about and do things as long and often as they'd like. With 2 kids, espeically, this restricts that possibility for me. Dale and the kids stayed home, but in general, it's just harder to do certain things. I love my kids, and wouldn't trade my life or anything, sometimes it'd just be fun to be able to do random whatever things whenever I or we felt like it. I was also so grateful for the friends that I did have in high school. They are amazing people. I feel so blessed that I was able to find a group of friends that were good people, and a good influence on me. They are so great! I was also amazed at how much my relationship with them all has changed. Even with those I was closest to. It almost seems more of an acquaintance relationship -- but with a deep background. It was strange. It was just really interesting, but it was really good. I had a great time, and I'm SO excited for my friend that got married. He's a wonderful person, and she seems like a great girl!!
3 comments:
Hey, you tell Dale that numbered social circles were MY thing! :) Well, mine and Adelle's...
Kara - I got curious and read your blog, and I just have to say, I've been feeling the exact same way. I have a friend who isn't married yet, and when we recently got together, I couldn't stop thinking about how different our lives were. And like you said, I wouldn't trade my life for anything, but my words to her were, "I wish I could just take a little weekend vacation from responsibilities so I could feel that carefree life for a little while. Just for a weekend!" It was good to hear that someone else has those moments, too!
Kara Lynn--I agree about it being weird seeing everyone again at the wedding...your "acquaintance relationship with a deep background" idea hits it right on the head. I'm sorry we haven't been in touch as much as I would like--it's funny how things can just drift apart.
But I just thought I'd point out things from the flip side--even though we can pretty much do whatever random things we want, there's still a lot of nights we all (together or separately) end just sitting around watching TV or other variations on doing nothing. Also, there's the whole "even though I can do anything I want, what on earth do I want to do" question to tackle. Plus, we're still stuck dating. Do you remember dating? Oh my heck, can I tell you how much I *loathe* dating? Also, there's a lot to say for that deep reassurance that comes from having someone you love—it's always nice to have someone to come home to who actually cares about you and wants to listen to you. It can get kind of lonely.
But, all the same, like you, I wouldn't trade how things have worked out for me for anything. I guess that's all part of the experience, huh?
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