Overwhelming gratitude.

This post is really for myself. I have had a lot of crazy feeling over the past 2 1/2 weeks, and really just wanted to write them out a little bit. It's also a post that will very much fit with the time of season we are celebrating. :)

The past two weeks have gone totally differently than I ever imagined. There have been a lot more tears and a lot more prayers than I ever anticipated. There have been more meals brought to my family than planned, and more love coming from so many people. I have found and seen more love from my Heavenly Father than I ever remember having in my life. I've seen miracle after miracle in the last two weeks.

I haven't really gotten to be home and get on a super great schedule. We've been able to have my mother-in-law in town since Friday, and she'll be leaving tomorrow. Luckily, Dale has tomorrow off, and can help some on Friday (although he does have to work) and then the weekend. I'll still have a lot of help around after my MIL leaves. So, come Monday I think the reality of having four kids again will really hit, and we'll see how I last. However, I must say that I am so, so grateful for the help that I've gotten this first week home with Jack. I am also SO grateful for the help of friends who watched the kids so that Dale could work more easily and go to class, and also for the family that came over and helped, and those that let our kids stay at their houses. It really was so nice knowing my other kids were safe and taken care of while I was at the hospital with Jack.

I feel like my love has changed for my family. I have always loved my children. I think seeing Jack in such a spot in his little life that really, life or death could be on the table, if you will, really hit home. It really does make me look at my kids and think, "Yes, we can read now, I'm not doing anything that is more important than you right now." Obviously there are times when my attention is taken in a different direction, but I am reminded more often of the time I need to spend with them. I think Dale and I both needed to be reminded that our kids love us and that they miss us when we're gone. :) Hugs come more often, and I love you's have been said more in the last couple weeks -- from us to them, and from them to us. It's very sweet. Everything that has happened with Jack, I went through with only one person by my side the entire time. I think because of this, I see my husband in a new light as well. He's the only one that saw how Jack was breathing and crying before the ER, and when the doctor seemed like he was going to send us home at the ER, and when we got the news of what was wrong with Jack in the Pediatric Unit at UVMC, no one there had been with us before we were transfered up there. He was there with me watching a helicopter take our 10 day old baby to a hospital that I'm SO grateful is only 1 hour away from me. He was there to help me tell the other kids, and on the drive up there. When a neurosurgeon told us that he knew Jack needed surgery, etc, etc, etc. It just seems to have brought a new dimension in a way into our life. We've seen the miracle and power of prayer take over our lives and work so perfectly together, it's amazing.

I have to admit, I knew that we had an amazing children's hospital in SLC and that there were a lot of people that came there from all over. Dale and I have never had anyone withing our immediet families that have had to utilize that hospital before. For that we are so grateful. What an incredible experience it was to be in that hospital. The care and concern of the people that work there is wonderful. I hardly came across someone I didn't like (I'll admit, there were one or two I wasn't OVERLY impressed with, but they were still good at what they were supposed to be doing). We were well cared for, and obviously Jack was as well. This experience has made me hope that at some point Dale and I can contribute some money to the Festival of Trees. The proceeds from the Festival of Trees go to PCMC. I would love to decorate a tree of some sort at some point as well. The time will come for us to give back to a hospital that gave so much to our family. I am so so grateful for where I live, and that we are so close to so many great doctors and hospitals.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if we hadn't called about Jack. I know it was a huge blessing that we called when we did, and that we were seen when we were. The pediatrician on call at the hospital was wonderful. Jack had his post hospital check up at the pediatrician, and our doctor had the doctor that was on call (the one who initially found the blood clot) come in and see how well Jack was doing. It was really nice, and I am so grateful for a wonderful pediatrician who is concerned and willing to help do all he can to Jack back and feeling well.

My list of thanks:

*My religion: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

*My wonderful husband

*My four adorable children!

*Wonderful family members -- those close are far away -- and their willingness to help in any way possible!

*Good friends!!

*The priesthood, and that my husband has that power, and my brothers, and my father, and our friends, thank you!

*Doctors!

*Modern Medician and wonderful hospitals

*People who are willing to serve

*A good book

*Our home

*My dishwasher (which has been broken for almost 3 weeks)

*That we are all healthy

I think mostly I'm just grateful right now. Really for so many things big and small. I've been reminded of my Saviors love for me, my family, my babies, and all those around me. What an experience we've had, and I hope that I remember how it's effected my life for forever. I am so grateful that I've been able to rely on my Heavenly Father so much, and that He's given me peace so often. Of course there are hard times, but we get through those and keep doing what needs to be done. I know that prayers are heard and answered. I know that my Heavenly Father is aware of me, and my family, and you and yours! :) What a wonderful blessing in our lives. Thank you to all those who have loved, prayed and helped us. We love you and appreciate what you've done! :)

Happy Thanksgiving!